Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Clingy Mummy Alert!

Today, 2 days shy of her 9 month 'birthday', Miss Isabelle has moved into her own bedroom for the first time. To be honest, if Simon hadn't moved the cot this morning (by himself, while Isabelle and I staged a sit in protest) I would happily have let her stay a bit longer. Say until she was 10?! We had set two dates before when she would go - at 8 months old, then New Year's Day - but she never quite made it out of our room.

I know some people will be reading this and thinking I am mad for keeping her in there so long. That said, I also know lots of lovely mummies who still have their little in their room too - which has always made me feel better about keeping her in with us for so long. Honestly, I always assumed that when we hit that 6 month mark, she'd be out of there and I'd be glad to see the back of her - but she stayed. I had told Simon she needed to be moved first thing in the morning, so she had her nap in her room too, and he set today as the final date as he was off work, and could move the furniture this morning.

Morning nap in her own room

I know some people think I am clingy, and I think they are probably right. I was counting today on my way home from the hairdresser and, in 9 months, I have left Isabelle with someone other than Simon fewer than 5 times, and I have left her with Simon fewer than 10 times. The longest time I have left her is 5 hours, and she was asleep for most of that.

I never thought I would be so clingy at all, and always slightly mocked parents who never let their kids out of their sight. I always said "Oh when she is sleeping well I'll ship her off for the night to my parents", and assumed I'd have no issue in going out during the day or in the evenings. However, every time I leave her, or even think about leaving her with someone, I can't help but think "What if she needs me and I'm not there?"

She sleeps face down - thank heavens for movement monitors...

I KNOW that it's silly. Simon, my mum and dad, my brother and sister, and my sister-in-law are all perfectly capable of taking care of Isabelle for a few hours, and I trust them all without question. But yet, I can't help that worry that Isabelle will get upset, and I cannot stand the thought of tears rolling down her cheek and me not being there to comfort her.

As per my New Year's resolution, however, I am working to change that. Isabelle stayed with my mum for a few hours at the weekend, and today with Simon while I got my hair chopped (I can tick that off the to do list). And tonight, she is sleeping in her own room. Yes, I am worried she will be lonely, even though she's asleep, and no, I am not looking forward to having to walk all the way to the next room to feed her when she wakes. I will miss hearing her shuffle round in her sleep, and miss the reassuring sound of her little breaths when I wake up to check she is OK. Just the thought is making me well up, and making me want to go and climb into her cot with her.



But she's in her room, and after tonight I'm sure I'll wonder why I was being such a silly mummy in the first place...

Is anyone else willing to admit they are a clingy mummy?!

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