While I was feeding Isabelle before bed last night I had a thought - if I could go back to the beginning of her life and do things over, what would I do differently? What situations could I have handled differently, and what would I have done instead? Is there anything that I've done which I don't think was the right thing, any decisions I regret? In what ways could I have just been BETTER?
Here's what I came up with:
* I would listen to my instincts in every situation, stop questioning my choices and believe that old cliche...mama really does know best. I think as a first time mum there are so many people trying to "help" by giving advice and telling you how you should be doing things that it's easy to second guess everything you do. While they are really only trying to help, I know now that I know my baby best of all!
* I would start using our cloth nappies much earlier. We started on day 12, after her cord stump fell off and we used the last disposable. I would start from the day we got home.
* I wouldn't limit how much we hold Isabelle. This is my biggest regret. In the early days I was so worried about "spoiling" her and getting her used to being held that I limited my own cuddle time and made Simon limit his. Isabelle has never been unhappy being on her own, and sometimes actively seeks this independent time, but I was always so afraid that I would end up making her reliant on being in our arms to fall asleep or settle herself, that I put her down much more often than I wanted too. I wish I had believed that there is NO SUCH THING as spoiling a newborn baby.
* I would recognise that Simon has his own way of doing things and that, just because he doesn't do them the same way that I do, he isn't wrong. In other words, I'd give him a break!
* I'd attempt to stop fretting so much about everything. No doubt that's actually impossible for a new mother, but I'd try anyway!
So, really, a change in my thinking rather than changing anything I've done - and that change would be to make me even more baby led than I already am, and let my natural instincts rule. That said, overall, I'm pretty damn proud of how I have parented Isabelle over the last 3 months, and am proud of Simon for how he has taken on his role as a daddy, and how he has supported me.
That's not to say I've been the 'perfect mother'. I'm sure my family and friends have many things they think I should have done differently - such as making Isabelle take a bottle, or not using boobs to solve all her bad moods - but I can't please everyone, so instead I'll concentrate on pleasing myself and Isabelle. And Simon as well, if he's lucky!
Is there anything you wish you'd done differently as a parent?
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