Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Milestone Mania...

Recently, I've become aware of the 'milestone mania' culture among mothers. Whether we mean to or not, we can't help but compare our little darling to everyone else's - either positively or negatively.

I am incredibly lucky that during pregnancy and during my first few months of motherhood, I have made a wonderful group of new 'mummy' friends. Mostly, their babies were born at roughly the same time as Isabelle - maybe a few months difference here and there, but overall they are all within 2/3 months of one another. As mummies, much of our conversation revolves around our teeny people, what they are up to, how we do things, and generally how we all survive the minefield of parenting! Of course, we are all immensely proud of our littles, and we love sharing their achievements with one another. And because of that, sometimes we inadvertently end up comparing our littles with one another.

Nobody means to, of course, and nobody ever boasts about their little to make others feel bad, but I think that the fact that as mothers we are constantly worrying about our little people means that we hear somebody else's baby has done something....and immediately PANIC sets in that our little is nowhere near doing that same thing!



Let me give you some examples where I have been on both sides..

* Isabelle was pretty early to sit up (so I'm told!) as she started at around 4.5 months, and by 5.5 months she had it perfectly. However, two of my 'mummy friends' were worried as there littles (one at 7 months, one at 6 months) were making no move to sit up alone...

* For months I worried about Isabelle not rolling over. While her friends rolled all around her, she resolutely stayed put. Even now, at 7 months, she does not roll... ( I should just add that she can roll both ways since 4 months - she does on the odd occasion if she can be bothered - but overall, she just has no interest in rolling which is why she doesn't do it!)

I take it all with a pinch of salt and look at the bigger picture - sure Isabelle may not be a crawler yet - but she is a champion sitter, and she can talk the hind legs off a donkey! All the babies have their strengths, and so I try not to compare Isabelle too much to those around her.

However, I know many mums aren't able to push aside the comparisons, and it really upsets them and worries them that their littles aren't 'meeting their milestones'. Add to this that a simple Google of 'Milestone chart' brings up lists of things your baby "should" be doing at a certain age, and it's easy to see how some mummies get caught up in milestone mania.

So, while I encourage Miss Isabelle to reach her next milestone, and record them all in her baby book, I'm not really too worried about when she does what. To quote Michael McIntyre, you never have an adult crawl up to you and apologise that they can't walk. All babies get there in their own time and in their own way.



That said, it's a lot easier to say that now than remember it in baby groups as babies around us crawl off with their rows of teeth...

Have you experienced milestone mania? What do you, or have you, worried about most with your baby's milestones?

No comments:

Post a Comment